Why It's Called a Goodbye Page 5

  In true Stephen Ripley fashion, he arrived late and missed all of the soccer game. Atticus made two goals, and Malcom began using him as a goalie halfway through the game. They won four to two.

  I learned that when a player scores a point by hitting the ball with their head, it’s commonly known as ‘heading the ball’. One of the seniors made one of the goals this way, and I plan to title my article “Heading the Ball Straight to College”.

  I messaged Malcom after the game and told him my idea. He never responded.

  I typed it up and submitted it this morning before calling Inez. She’s excited about going out tonight, but I hadn’t told her Malcom and Diego would be there.

  There are still a few hours before I need to get ready for tonight. I was going to take the day off from writing my trashy romance novel, which I haven’t titled yet, but I have nothing else to do. May as well work.

  I’ve written two thousand more words, and I have tentatively titled the novel Kisses After Midnight.

  As I go to take a shower, I receive a text from Malcom.

  Malcom: Sorry, been busy. Take the ball part out. Heading Straight to College would make for a better article headline. With maybe a picture of him heading the ball.

  Me: Okay.

  Malcom: I’ll be at the Brew & View at 7

  Me: Inez is meeting me there at 7:30

  Malcom: See you then

  I email The Hive the updated title before getting ready.

  I put on a pair of black boots that I found in the back of my childhood closet. The boots come above my knee but have no heel. I stare at myself in the mirror. I’m only about five foot four inches. My hair hits just about the peaks of my breasts. I curled it and pinned it away from my eyes. My dress is cranberry pink and hugs what little curves I have. There is about four inches of skin exposed between the hem of my dress and the tops of my boots. All set.

  When I arrive at the Brew & View, Inez is standing beside her car. She’s wearing sweatpants and a ragged hoodie. Which is entirely unlike her. I get out of the car and walk over to her.

  “What are you wearing?” I ask.

  “What are you wearing?” she asks as she eyes my dress and boots.

  “I wanted to look nice. Why did you dress like a homeless person for a Saturday night out?”

  “I thought we were having a girl’s night?”

  Oopsie. “About that…”

  “What’s going on?”

  “Well, I kinda…Well, we are meeting Malcom Murray and Diego Suarez. It’s not a date. Sorry I said you look homeless. You look great!” She really does look great. Prettiest homeless person I’ve ever seen.

  She smiles, “Ohhh, now I understand why you look like you’re dressed for a rap video.”

  “A rap video? Well, crap. Malcom coaches Atticus in soccer, and he’s really the only person I’ve talked to besides you since I’ve been back.”

  “You look fine. So, you’ve been holding out information from me then?”

  “It’s not like that. He has been helping me write an article for The Hive is all. Plus, he has females.”

  “Huh?”

  “Nothing.”

  She elbows me. “I’m just picking on you. Let’s go meet the guys.”

  She wraps her arm around mine, and we walk inside. We find the guys seated at a high-top table for four. Diego and Malcom are pretty similar in build and looks. Diego’s skin is more of an olive tone though, and his nose is slightly crooked.

  We take our seats, and we sit in an awkward silence for a few minutes. Diego speaks first, “I hear you have a boy who plays futebol under Coach Mac here?”

  “Soccer? Yes.”

  “My home country of Portugal refers to it as futebol,” Diego says as he draws out the word.

  I wonder why accents are sexy on the ears. I’m not particularly attracted to Diego, but I am to his accent. Maybe I just have a thing for voices.

  Malcom’s voice brings me back to reality, “Don’t let Diego fool you. He coaches college futebol, and he’s a college counselor too.”

  We’ve all had a couple beers and have finished eating. Well, everyone has finished besides Malcom.

  “Are you on a diet?” Inez asks Malcom.

  “Nah, he likes to enjoy his food,” Diego answers. “I, on the other hand, like to eat as fast as I can. No need to waste precious time eating.”

  “That’s because you’re always in a hurry. Everyone is always in a hurry to get to the next thing,” Malcom states.

  I never really thought about it that way. I am always rushing. But why? Especially tonight, I have nothing else to do after this, aside from sleeping.

  “Do you guys normally have dates?” Inez asks.

  “Nah, we don’t really date,” Diego says.

  “I’m guessing Coach Mac didn’t tell you about Ms. Giggles then?” I say.

  Diego looks at Malcom quizzically. “Ms. Giggles? Have you been holding out on me?”

  “Nope. She was a girl I talked to for all of five minutes,” Malcom makes sure to make eye contact with me when he says, “once.”

  Diego orders us all shots, and we’ve been talking about old high school memories. Apparently, Diego and Malcom skipped school a lot our senior year to have sex, and they found it odd that neither Inez nor I ever did that.

  I burp before I can speak, “I don’t think I’m in any shape to drive home.”

  Diego moves his arm around Malcom’s shoulders, “Don’t worry, we’ll all take an Uber to Coach Mac’s.”

  “Inez and I have a mediation hearing to get to tomorrow afternoon. We really should be heading home.”

  Diego wraps his other arm around Inez’s shoulders. “You know, I know a thing or two about mediations, I could help.”

  This is going to be bad. This cannot end well.

  The Uber smelled like pot, and the driver couldn’t have been any more than eighteen or nineteen years old. I’m pretty surprised our small town even has Uber.

  We all stumble in the door after Malcom gets it unlocked. For someone who drank as much as the rest of us, he seems pretty sober.

  Diego picks on Inez. “You always dress like this? Or was this something special you picked out for tonight?”

  Inez huffs before heading to the living room. They both sit down on the floor in front of the coffee table and begin talking about things I don’t care to listen to.

  I look at Malcom who is standing by the kitchen bar staring at me. “My head hurts, and I just want to sleep.”

  He turns and digs around in the cabinet beside the refrigerator. He hands me two pills and then grabs a bottle of water from the pantry.

  I swig down half the bottle of water with the pills. I’m going to have a hangover tomorrow, and I have to deal with Stephen. Why had I been so stupid? What kind of a lawyer lets her client get drunk the night before a mediation? We did have fun though. I’ll give her a pass; she looks like she doesn’t do much outside of work.

  Malcom points down the hallway. “If you think for one second that I’m sleeping in your bed with you, you’re mistaken.”

  “I never thought you were. Plus, I don’t sleep with married women.” He laughs. “Well, at least not ones I know are married.”

  “I’m soon to be divorced,” I say as I sashay down the hall with no clue where I’m going. I turn to face him and pout. “I thought you said you were attracted to me.”

  “I am. You need some sleep. You’re cranky.”

  I place my hands on my hips and wobble a little. “Don’t tell me what I need.”

  He opens a door. “Here, you can sleep in Elsie’s room.”

  I back in the doorway as he walks to the doorway directly across from me. He looks at me, with one hand on the doorknob and the other extended up on the door trim. He smiles, then his smile fades before he closes the door.

  I wonder what that was about, but I’m so tired. I can barely keep my eyes open. I find a light switch and turn the light on before shutting the door. The room il
luminates, and it’s like a glitter bomb exploded in this room. It seems to take a very long time to get my boots off. I leave them by the door.

  There’s a princess canopy bed in the far-left corner. I head that way and try not to trip over the Barbies that scatter the floor. I pull back the purple comforter and right before I climb in, there’s a soft knock at the door.

  Malcom whispers, “I thought you might want something more comfortable to sleep in. Can I open the door?”

  I step on a Barbie on the way to open the door. I’m holding my right foot in my hand and hopping on my left when Malcom opens it.

  “Here,” is all he says as he thrusts some clothes in my direction.

  I place my dangling foot on the carpet and take the clothes from him. It’s the same Bearcats sweatshirt as before and a pair of gray jogging pants.

  “I know what you’re up to, ya know.” I know he just wants me to think about what he looks like in these.

  He holds his hand up. “I’m not up to anything. Good night.”

  “Good night, Malcom. Thanks,” I say and turn around.

  “You’re welcome. Oh, and you know your panties are see through,” he says with a big grin on his face as he closes the door.

  I look down at my legs and notice that my dress is hiked up all the way to the top of my hips. I’m so embarrassed that I contemplate making the walk of shame back to my parents’, but in the end, I dress in his clothes and fall asleep.

  I dream of Malcom and me running in a field of glitter surrounded by giant Barbies who have taken over the planet.

  EIGHT

  I roll over on my back as I get a sharp pain behind my right eye. I move my right hand to my eye and stretch my left arm out to feel around next to me in the bed. I have a brief memory of slipping out of the room last night and into Malcom Murray’s bed.

  I don’t feel anything. I open my left eye as another dull ache begins behind it. I’m surrounded by glitter and purple. I’m alone. Good. Unless maybe I came back here after we had sex. “Oh god.” My entire body hurts, but that might be from the drinking and not from hot, late-night sex.

  The sun is beaming through the sheer pink curtains that hang in front of her window. She has a view of the lake. I sit up and admire the way the sun hits off the ripples in the water. It’s mesmerizing.

  I hear a loud boom and Malcom’s voice say, “Fuck.”

  I climb out of Elsie’s bed and accidentally knock over a picture from the night table. I pick it up. Thankfully, I didn’t break it. When I place it back on the stand, I notice it’s a picture of Malcom with a lady with chestnut hair and dark coffee-colored eyes. On her lap is a very small child. The child cannot be more than two, and it’s a little girl. She looks a little like the both of them. He has never mentioned Elsie’s mom. At least not to me. I remake her bed before heading to find out who all’s awake.

  When I reach the living room, Inez is still asleep on the couch. Diego and Malcom are in the kitchen staring at their feet. I clear my throat making their heads turn in unison. “I didn’t mean to wake you guys up. I was trying to make coffee and broke the pot.”

  There are shards of glass covering the tile between the bar and the counter. I look at the time. Shit. “Is that time correct?”

  “Yeah, it’s ten.”

  “Oh no, Inez and I are supposed to meet Stephen at eleven thirty.” I walk over to Inez who looks like she hasn’t slept this good in a long time. I bend down and nudge her shoulder. “Inez, we have to go. We aren’t going to have time to get dressed.”

  I stand up and look down at Malcom’s clothes that are way too big and way too unprofessional for a mediation meeting. My outfit from last night is inappropriate too. What am I going to do?

  I look back at Inez who hasn’t moved from her spot on the couch. I let my voice go up an octave, “Inez, get up! We needed to leave an hour ago! We’re going be late!” I begin pacing in a circle around the coffee table. I mumble to myself, “What am I going to do? I can’t wear this.”

  Inez’s voice is almost inaudible, but I hear her, “I keep extra outfits in my trunk. We just need to get back to my car.”

  I turn to face the guys. “Please tell me you have another vehicle, Malcom.” I know we all left our vehicles at the Brew & View last night when we took the Uber here.

  “Malcom? No one calls him Malcom,” Diego laughs. “I feel like he’s in trouble or something. Like the one time. You remember that one time Mac, when your…”

  Malcom shoves Diego’s shoulder and says, “Yeah, in the garage.”

  Inez and I had to change in her car in the parking lot. If it wasn’t for Stephen I would have just waited until we got to her house. We are using her home office for the mediation today.

  There weren’t too many people out and about on Sunday, but there was an old man on a bench who got a show. His heart probably hadn’t pumped that fast in the last twenty years. I wasn’t even embarrassed when my boob fell out of my bra while switching from the sweatshirt to one of Inez’s blouses.

  We’re now on our way to her house.

  “I swear, if he brings her to this, I’m going to go crazy.” I feel like I’m about to have another panic attack.

  Inez grabs my left hand with her right and squeezes. “He’s not going to be that dumb. We’ll end the mediation before it begins if that’s the case. It should only be you two, your attorneys, and the mediator today.”

  “I don’t want this divorce drug out. I just want it over.”

  “I know you do, but it might take some time. I’m sorry.”

  Stephen’s late as usual. Inez, the mediator, and I have been at her place for over thirty minutes now, and we were ten minutes late. I guess he’s forty minutes late now, and I want to choke him out. I’ve never been an aggressive person, but for the last couple months, all I want to do is hurt him. Although, I don’t really want him dead. I’m not that cruel. My kids still need their dad even if I hate the fucker.

  The door swings open without a knock and in walks Stephen with a man who looks like he hasn’t showered in a few days. His hair is disheveled, and there is a rip down the front of his suit. Stephen’s wearing dress pants and a light blue dress shirt that’s untucked. I’m not so sure why I cared about looking professional now.

  The mediator gestures for them to sit across the table from Inez and me.

  We sit in silence as the mediator gives his proposal of what we should do with our assets. Stephen huffed and puffed the entire time, and his lawyer was in his ear about something he didn’t seem to like.

  I look at the mediator. “Can I say something?” The mediator nods. “I don’t really want half of everything. I just want a divorce. I want to keep the last name Ripley because it’s the boys’ last name. I would like some continued help for the boys until they’re eighteen. Stephen, you can see them whenever you want as long as it doesn’t affect their schooling.”

  Stephen stands as he speaks, “I don’t want a divorce, Addy Bear. I want you to come back home. We can fix this.”

  “Please do not call me Addy Bear anymore. It lost its cuteness years ago. I am sorry you do not want a divorce; I didn’t want to have to do this.” I turn to look at Inez. “You can show the video now.”

  I move my hand to my forehead and place my elbow on the table. I stare at a crack in the table and try to not listen to the licking noises coming from Kitty and moans coming from Stephen.

  When the video ends, I look up. “Is Kitty also your ‘companion’ who traveled up here with you two weeks ago?”

  “I…uh…I can explain.”

  Finally, Stephen’s lawyer speaks, “It seems you have some evidence we were not made aware of beforehand.”

  Inez, “This isn’t a trial. It’s a mediation.”

  The mediator says, “Well, it looks like we are not going to come to an agreement today. For the short term, we need to agree where the boys will stay, and generally, most judges rule in the favor of the mom. With your career, I am going to suggest
Adaline keep them during the week, and you get them every weekend.”

  “Every weekend! Atticus has soccer on the weekends, too,” I say. I don’t want them gone every weekend. That’s a lot.

  “If Stephen agrees to make sure he can get Atticus to his soccer games and practices, I see no reason why he can’t have them every weekend,” the mediator says, and I feel like I’m losing the battle already. “I will draft up a long-term agreement this week and get it to both attorneys. The boys will stay with Adaline during the week, and she will see to their academic needs while Stephen will have them on the weekends, unless for some reason he cannot, and he has to make sure to notify Adaline beforehand. Adaline will keep her vehicle so she can transport the boys where they need to go. Stephen will pay four thousand dollars a month to Adaline to help with expenses related to the boys, and he will continue to carry medical insurance on all parties.”

  I left Inez’s directly after Stephen so I could get to the boys at my parents’. He had dropped them off on the way. That was supposedly why he was late. I don’t care anymore that he was late. I really don’t think he’ll actually come and get the boys every weekend either.

  Four thousand dollars a month sounds like a lot more than most people get for child support for two kids. I know Stephen is a doctor, so it’s nothing to him, but I really don’t want to use it for myself unless I have to. I forgot how much things actually cost. I used to be able to just give whoever a credit card without having to worry about what the total was.

  I’ve resorted to using his credit card for gas only. I wonder if he’s even noticed. He hadn’t brought it up. I need to quit using it, though, if he’s going to be paying child support too. I don’t want to have to owe him money in the long run.

  At least now I can contribute some to the bills at my parents’ and buy some groceries. I feel horrible they haven’t asked for a dime, and they shouldn’t have to support my children and me.

  After I made sure the boys were okay for a little while, I snuck out on the back porch with my laptop to add finishing touches to this article for The Hive.